Caitlin has been with us thirteen years now. That is thirteen years longer than she was expected to live. She has taught us so much about ourselves and about the many people we come into contact with.
She wasn't supposed to leave the hospital. She did. Then she wasn't supposed to live to see two years old.
She did.
Now she is looking at fourteen in September. We have been up and down with her but we have always viewed her as a blessing, never a burden. Some days have been tougher than others true, but she has always loved us and through that, showed us how much our Heavenly Father loves and cares for each of us.
How you ask? The service of others. Pure and simple miracles in her health.
When doctors have done all they can and they stand back scratchng their heads looking scared and baffled she has continued to live. She wants to be here.
You see, we all have our free agency, even Caitlin. She exercises that through her desire to stay with us, or return to her Heavenly Father. She seems to still have something to do for she has had ample oppotrunity to leave.
And yet she stays. It is nothing we are doing though many give us the credit. Medicine has been a huge part of her life, but doctors know that statistically, she shouldn't be here.
And yet she stays. She has been through so much. When we lived in the south, so many would stop us and ask if they could pray over our child. We didn't ask what faith they practiced. We let them. So many have been moved by her, touched by her. She shares a testimony that few have in a way that even fewer can.
You see, she inspires in others the Spirit of Christ through service, through compassion, through pure love.
The Name Caitlin is Gaelic. It is actually pronounced much like Kathleen (it's also where the name Kathleen comes from) but more importantly is what it means. It means Pure in Heart.
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." More importantly to me, is wht she shows others. What she teaches others. Compassion, love, service. She has the ability to break down hearts and get inside.
Yes, she is daddy's girl. More correctly, daddy is hers.
I do look forward to the day when we can talk for as any teenage girl, she probably has an earful for her daddy!
"I Can Only Imagine"
I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine
[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
[Chorus]
I can only imagine [x2]
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you
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I forgot to add the story about the song.
ReplyDeleteCaitlin had gone into respiratory failure but made it through. She was in the hospital awaiting surgery for a tracheotomy. I was driving home one night and this song came on the radio. Being the tough Army guy I am I started to imagine.
I imagined it was Caitlin singing these words. This of course got her daddy to thinking about that day and what it will be like to walk and talk, sing and dance, with my daughter who has only been able to smile and coo.
You know my 'I Never Cry' claim? Yeah not that night. It was so strong as to overpower me. I had to stop driving because I could not see to drive. But they were tears of joy as I thought of Caitlin, perfect, whole, and healthy. Let me correct that. She is perfect now and has been sent to me to prepare me and keep me humble. I am a proud man and foolish man. But Caitlin has made me humble and wise (well, wiser!).
I love this little girl. I haven't met many people who she hasn't touched. They would have to be truly hard hearted indeed.
Caitlin's my little angel. I am blessed to be her mother and I thank my Heavenly Father every day for her. She truely has blessed our family by just being a part of us. Her smile will always cheer me up even when I'm very downhearted. I love my baby and will be so very happy to see her walk, dance, talk and sing. I look forward to that day and yet want it to be far from now. I'm a very selfish person for wanting to keep her here with me. That time in Virginia when we thought we'd lost her and then had to turn around and basically tell our Father in Heaven that he could have her if it be his will, was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I know that she is here to bless others and am very thankful she's chosen to stay with us for now.
ReplyDeleteI love you Caitlin!
I love you Butch for being such a great dad to all of our kids and especially for all you do for Caitlin.
How things change....
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