Communication Breakdown

Ok, first of all. Yes, I am driven by music. Of all types. So when I borrow from songs you know why. Led Zeppelin gets the props for my current topic.

Communication. What does that word mean to you? How you define it says a lot about how you speak and, maybe more importantly, how you listen. I'm sure to some extent we all speak and listen differently. Words that leave your mouth can't be taken back in. No matter how you try, they fly until they hit their target. Or do they? I mean they fly but what they affect, or whom, depends upon the ears listening.

If a tree falls in the forest does it make any noise? I say it makes sound, but it doesn't make noise. Sound is a fact of science. Noise is something interpreted and with no one around to interpret it, it does not make noise. You may feel different.

You may not care but you've read this far so what the heck, stick it out.

As I grew up I noticed how words could do a great many things, good and bad. To my Mother, I became a "master manipulator" and I do not deny that with many of my questions and observations I have been able to skew things my way a time or two. But as I grow older I learn more and more that so many of us do not communicate well.

We talk. We chat. Now we text and I'm not even getting into that mess. But do I hear what you say? I have learned the hard way that what comes out of my mouth becomes something completely different when it gets into my wife's ears. Once they are in there I spend considerable time and effort trying to explain what I meant. Often times all I do is dig a deeper hole.

I don't think I'm the only husband that has tried climbing out of this one. It's a slippery slope to say the least.

As a grown kid, I'm the youngest of eight from my mom and I don't think we really ever learned to communicate with each other. We learned small talk. Remember, perspective of the baby brother who is technically a step-brother (although I never remember being referred to as such!). I mean we spoke of a great many things but don't remember communicating much. We still seem to have a hard time saying I love you on a consistent basis. It's awkward to me to say this to my siblings unless I say it without thinking about it too much. It's hard to say it to my MOTHER! Do I love these people? Of course. We went through the 70's man! And we have pictures! We won't talk about the 80's it was bad time for the country stylistically.

Muscle shirts and parachute pants. Any questions?

So why can't we communicate. I'm so far usually I seldom even speak to anyone but my Mom. When I got out of the hospital, my brother Jeff called me and knew it must be bad. That was the first time in our lives that he has called me! I don't think it was as bad as he thought it was going to be. I know he went in thinking "how do I check up on my little brother who just went nuts and ate benzos like pez without sounding like I am checking up on him?" All he had to say was who it was and I knew why he was calling. Luckily for both of us I handle awkward with all the grace of a hippo in a tutu.

Let me open up more of why Jack is a little bit off. I went through part of the Special Forces Medical Sergeant course. You learn A LOT. In the interest of time and national security I will keep it to this one vignette.

When you are standing in a room with seventy other DUDES learning how to do Digital Rectal Exams (DREs) it makes you a humble man. For those who are stuck in computers, no, digital is not some piece of tech equipment, it's your digits - FINGERS! ok, 'nuff said.

So, Jeff is fumbling with a hello and I kind of took over (as I am prone to do in a conversation. I know I'm working on that!) to save him. It's a lot easier to talk to someone about a difficult subject when they just blurt everything out. All the tact of a hippo in a tutu, remember? We talked for about 45 minutes before I had to go but it was cool to just talk to family. And Merrie called the next day but that's not as rare. I know the backstage workings of the family and I'm sure someone was directing days to call and all. I love 'em!

So. Communication. What's that mean to you? Do you read body language and non-verbal cues? Does what people say versus what they do affect how you interpret what they say to you the next time? Are past scars blocking lines of communication within you? Are they skewing what you say to others or how they are interpreted?

Too much talk about talking! What's the message in the pic below. I think it emphatically states "Stop and don't move!"

How about you?