Mirror, Mirror on the wall

Yes, I've not posted in a while. Yes it was intentional. While they watch me twitch and wiggle on all the different meds they've given me I decided to wait a bit and come down before reentry...get it?

Seriously, I needed to level off before I wrote again. I have offended so many or caused many others to worry as my mood swings this way and that. In reality, these are manifestations of a drug habit...my doctors! They have a habit of putting me on drugs! I thought I had something working here and then I screwed up my ankle. I find out in the morning what wonderful news the discovered in my X-rays and Bone Scans. Not looking forward to it. The news will not be good it will just have varying degrees of bad. This does not sit well with me.

2009 has been wild and I am looking for it to settle down but every time I do, BAM, something else hits me. I reached out for help and it seems to only be adding fuel to the fire. I guess it is to be expected for some chaos to come before the calm but for anyone following this soap opera, am I a whiner or have we been nailed with a Super-sized crap sandwich?

Ok, scratch that last question, I am a whiner. I am petty. I tend to lash out and unfortunately, offend those who do the most to help me through my trials. That would be a good thing to get these docs to work on. Find me a medication that will make me a little less of a jerk. Or have the 'jerk' part of my brain removed or electrocuted or something. Now there's something I could support.

There's a rumor that I need a vacation but I wouldn't know what to do. Not that our family needs a vacation but that I do. I'm thinking of going on a roadtrip on my motorcycle down the coast, through the redwoods, and then what?

Aren't vacations family affairs involving a station wagon, beach balls, and a visit to a national park? Every time we have taken a vacation, we have ended up dealing with an emergency. No joke. Is it any wonder I am afraid to take one?

Cari is in Pennsylvania this week and I am just waiting for the bomb to go off. Not literally, but if history is any indicator, something is about to go wrong. Sometimes if nothing bad does happen, I make it happen. I won't today. That's all I can promise. I did my best to screw up yesterday but hopefully I can make amends for that. In my defense, I was in a great deal of physical pain but that shouldn't matter. See above comment about being petty, etc.

I will have to find a different outlet since a vacation right now wouldn't be prudent. I mean, expense+injury+medication+motorcycle=disaster. Maybe I'll rent a cabin and the family can have a vacation from dad and all the stress that follows him. Probably cheaper and safer. Hmmmm...